Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive, controlling and/or violent behavior toward a partner in an intimate relationship. It is often accompanied by emotional abuse that is part of a larger systematic pattern of dominance and control.
Domestic violence can result in physical injury, psychological trauma, and in severe cases, even death.
The devastating physical, emotional, and psychological consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and can last a lifetime.
Perpetrators who abuse their partners may employ verbal abuse, threats, isolation from family and friends, intimidation, financial control, sexual or physical violence, property damage or threats toward the victim’s family, pets, or even themselves. People who are abused often think they are to blame or that their situation is hopeless. If you feel this way and are being hurt or abused, it is NOT your fault. We can help.
If you need help, please call us at 978-388-1888. Our hotline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Unsure if you are a victim of abuse? If you answer yes to any of these questions, we are here to help you. Has your partner ever:
- Hit, kicked, shoved, choked (strangled) or hurt you in any physical way?
- Screamed at you, put you down, threatened, ridiculed or criticized you repeatedly?
- Been constantly or violently jealous?
- Consistently blamed you for their problems?
- Used or threatened to use a gun, knife or other weapon against you?
- Told you no one will believe you?
- Kept you from seeing your friends or family?
- Coerced or forced you to participate in sexual acts?
- Kept your paycheck from you or restricted access to your money?
- Relentlessly called, texted, IM’d, e-mailed or used other forms of technology to harass you?
- Followed or stalked you?
Who is Affected by Domestic Violence?
- Anyone. Domestic violence affects teens and adults of every age, racial or ethnic background, religious group, neighborhood, and income level.
- Primarily women. The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that more than 90% of all domestic violence victims are female and that most abusers are male.
- LGBTQ. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals are abused at approximately the same levels as heterosexual couples, but the abuse may be exacerbated by social isolation caused by societal oppression and discrimination.
- Elders. 11% of individuals 60 and older reported experiencing intimate partner abuse within the past year.
- Children. Children are also victims of domestic violence, or may be hurt by exposure to violence and the battering parent. They are also sometimes used by perpetrators as the object of threats or as a means to coerce their victims.
- Teens. 18% of high school girls and 7% of high school boys report being physically hurt by someone they are dating. We know that abuse later in life often begins with high school dating relationships.
- Immigrants. Domestic violence within immigrant and refugee communities can result in social and/or legal isolation of victims due to documentation status and access issues related to language and culture. Abuse may be exacerbated by social isolation, language barriers, and lack of familiarity with local laws and services.
- Men. Men and boys may be victims of domestic violence, with estimates as high as 17% of men in relationships reporting violence committed against them by their partner.
- Disabilities. People with disabilities report higher rates of domestic violence than the general population. People in caregiver roles or those wielding disproportionate power in their relationships with the disabled are often identified as perpetrator.
Power and Control
The Power and Control Wheel is a helpful tool to understand the overall pattern of abusive and violent behavior. Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them, are often linked to other abusive behaviors. Although physical assaults may occur only occasionally, they can instill the fear of future violence, allowing the abuser to take control of the partner’s life.
To better understand the power & control wheel, watch these videos presented by Scott Miller, Executive Director of Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs, home of The Duluth Model.